Thursday, April 23rd

This is Mariko updating the blog. Sorry, there hasn't been a recent update. Things have been hectic to say the least.

Brandon is doing very, very well medically. He is beyond excelling in physical therapy. His speech and occupational therapy are improving every day. Brandon is improving so well, they are going to release him on Saturday, the 25th. We still have a long way to go with recovery though. Brandon's memory is coming back bit by bit, but he thinks he is 100% and if any of you know Brandon you know there is no way of convincing him otherwise. He goes off on tangents and doesn't make sense a lot of the time still. He is beginning to piece things together though. For instance, they had him play a card game. In the card game he had to flip a card and find the cards that went in sequence with it. Brandon had a 10 and kept wanting to put the queen down. I figured out he was confusing 21, with the game they wanted him to play. When he says odd things, it takes a minute to figure out where it's coming from. He is so much like a child right now. It's tough because with a child you can control situations, give commands, things like that. Brandon is inbetween a dependent and independent phase. He knows who he was before and what things he could do, so when anyone tries to tell him what to do or change the course of a conversation or anything that you could do with a child, he gets very angry.

Brandon is taking his aggression out on his mom, dad and me. He is sweet as can be to the doctors and nurses and says yes, he will do everything they tell him to, but when he is done with them, it's constant arguing, complaining, and none of us do enough for him and we don't care about him. I know this is the brain injury talking, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. After over a week of seeing all the things that drive me crazy about Brandon and none of the things that made me fall in love with him and stay in love with him, it's taking a toll. I hope that when he gets home, he will feel safer and comfortable and will be able to relax.

Most of Brandon's frustration and anger are because he is confused beyond on anything he has ever had to deal with, he is in pain on a pretty consistent basis, he can't sleep well, he is being forced (for his health) into activities that he knows he should be able to do just fine, but can't and because he cannot smoke. I know a lot of you are smokers, so I need to explain why he cannot; so that when you see him, you don't think this is just because he should quit. When you smoke, it constricts the blood vessels and capillaries. Which means that the blood, oxygen and nutrients that go to the brain are diminished by quite a bit. It also means that the waste that is building up in Brandon's brain cannot be cleaned out as rapidly. Therefore, if he smokes, he risks permanent brain damage. The same goes for alcohol (it just affects the brain in a different way). The doctor's tell me that Brandon's brain more than likely won't make a full recovery for at least a year to two years. This is not something that will be over in a month. I am BEGGING all of you who are his close friends and smoke to PLEASE encourage Brandon to quit smoking (if you don't smoke, please let it lie, smokers don't like being given advice on quitting from someone who has never had to deal with it), don't feed his habit, and to be a constant advocate for support to help him get through this. All of you smokers, imagine how hard it would be to be in the hospital for two weeks, have no memory of why you are there, have a hard time functioning, being constantly confused/angry and then add quitting smoking on top of it. Brandon doesn't understand why it is imperative for him to quit. He believes that smoking won't hurt him at all at this point, and Brandon doesn't like to be told what to do. This makes everything much harder. Your support is greatly appreciated. If you come to visit Brandon, please make sure you do NOT bring cigarettes or a lighter or talk about having a beer with him or can't wait to have a beer, etc. Trust me, at this point, I would buy Brandon all the cigarettes in the world to alleviate some of his frustration, but I want my husband back. I want my son's dad back. I want our life back. I am sure you want your friend/family member back as well. Thank you!

Now, that I have updated everyone about Brandon, I want to THANK EVERYONE for the overwhelming support we have received. I can't believe that so many people have pulled through the way they have been for us. Not only with the incredibly generous donations, that seem to keep coming, but for the mental and emotional support as well. As I write this, I am overcome with thanks, gratitude and love. I cannot think of anything that will come close to repaying the kindnesses that have been given to my family, but I will be holding a barbecue in the next few weeks (depending on Brandon's ability to deal with it) to thank everyone and give everyone a chance to talk to their friend again. I can't say it enough, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!